Words Like Locusts Flew From Her Fingers

What’s Wrong With Them, Anyway??

It’s men I’m talking about here. Men.

I know you’ve all become accustomed to “An American Housewife” maintaining a breezy attitude of domestic efficiency but I’ve got to have my say on this and, frankly, things could get dirty.

I came home last night from having spent a few days out of town and was disappointed to find that, as usual when I’m not around to monitor things, the house was pretty much a mess. Petrified cat food was stuck to the kitchen countertop. A thin layer of cat litter sand covered the kitchen and bathroom floors. Fruit that needed refrigeration was sitting out. The doggie training pads that I’d left for our little old dog’s emergency use while the spouse was gone all day at the office had been put down on the floor–but wrong-side up. (Clue: the plastic side goes down to protect the floor. The fluffy absorbent side goes up to collect dog pee.) Dishes were put in the dishwasher all goofy–bowls set in such a position that they’d have simply filled with water during the cleaning cycle. I won’t even describe the situation around the bathroom toilets.

None of these un-done or done-wrong tasks are particularly difficult or time-consuming.

A chimp could master this stuff.

So…what’s wrong? Why do men have such a problem with it?

I’m seeing a couple of possibilities:

1. Men think that if they act all incompetent and helpless about household chores, women will feel needed.

I’ve got news for you men. When we’re wiping urine up off the bathroom floor for the zillionth time or have stepped on one of your toenail clippings in our bare feet because you didn’t clean them up, we’re not thinking “Oh, isn’t that cute! He’s not able to take care of himself! He neeeeeds me!” It’s a lot more likely that we’re thinking something along the lines of, “You repulsive pig!” These are not the kind of thoughts that lead to romantic snuggling in front of the fireplace.

2. Men are completely oblvious to the condition of their surroundings.

I’m going to give men the benefit of the doubt and assume there may be some genetic programming going on here from which a lot of them are having difficulty breaking free.

“Man hunt wooly mammoth! Bring home meat! Woman clean cave!”

Come on guys, it’s time to evolve. It’s not like you just climbed down from the trees yesterday.