Words Like Locusts Flew From Her Fingers

Gene Wilder

I love Gene Wilder. I mean it. I really love him.

At the moment, I’m watching him in one of his best performances in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory:

Where is fancy bred?
In the heart?
Or in the head?

It’s my second favorite Gene Wilder role. My favorite — one you don’t often see — is where he played The Fox in Stanley Donen’s film version of Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s The Little Prince. The scene with The Fox sitting in the wheat field is truly beautiful…

It’s only with the heart that one can see clearly.
What’s essential, is invisible to the eye.

Check out this great NPR interview with Wilder.

NPR : Gene Wilder: A Seriously Funny Man
He’s been a mad scientist, a gun-slinging cowboy, a twisted chocolate maker and other zanily hilarious characters. But actor Gene Wilder still doesn’t consider himself a funny man.

When Jackals Pounce

When Hollywood Makes History
“United 93,” Hollywood’s first big-budget film about the events of Sept. 11, 2001, is faithful to the major aspects of the tragic morning it depicts.

Am I the only person who thinks the whole idea of this movie is really sick and cruel? Don’t these Hollywood types have any compassion at all? Yeah… let’s make a movie depicting the last horrific moments of United’s Flight 93 so the friends and family of the people who were killed can relive their loved one’s death over and over and OVER. Yeah! That’s a greeeeeaaaaaat idea!

Jeez.

It’s not that I’ve got a problem with fictionalized “historical” type movies. I just think the movie-makers ought to wait at least 50 or 60 years before they turn trajedies into summertime box office hits.

These movie people are of the same ilk as “news” reporters who approach people at funerals to ask them “penetrating” questions like “How do you feel right now?”

The Worst? Or Just One Of The Worst?

Achenblog: Daily Humor and Observations from Joel Achenbach
Friedman writes of JFK’s ability to get Americans excited about winning the science race that ultimately would lead to victory in the Cold War: [Quoting Tom Friedman in "The World is Flat"] “If President Bush is looking for a similar legacy project, there is one just crying out — a national science initiative that would be our generation’s moon shot: a crash program for alternative energy and conservation to make American energy-independent in ten years. If President Bush made energy independence his moon shot, in one fell swoop he would dry up revenue for terrorism, force Iran, Russia, Venezuela, and Saudi Arabia on the path of reform — which they will never do with $50-a-barrel oil — strengthen the dollar, and improve his own standing in Europe by doing something huge to reduce global warming.” [p. 283]

Joel Achenbach does it again with this fantastic blog entry, “Bush the Worst President”.

Nobody’s saying it would be easy. It would be hard work — and the initial outlay would be expensive. If the US could become energy-independent, though, it would truly change everything. Amazingly enough (or maybe not), Jimmy Carter was urging this very thing thirty years ago. Carter predicted exactly the mess we find ourselves in today. But what was one of the first things Reagan did after getting into office? He dismantled Carter’s entire energy policy.

Fools. Stupid, short-sighted, money-grubbing fools.

Like Reagan, Bush is a person who doesn’t really give a shit about the future of this country. He cares about contributions to the Republican party. He cares about the value of stock owned by his friends. And he cares about the favors he owes people in positions of “very high authority” within the oil industry. Some of whom aren’t even citizens of this country.

Wouldn’t it be nice to once again have a president who actually cares about us?

Torture Is Un-American

If you agree with me that torture, indefinite detention and secret government kidnapping are un-American, I think you’ll be interested in a petition that I just signed.

These practices should not represent the United States of America. But today, two years after the truth was exposed about government-sponsored torture and abuse, the U.S. has failed to reverse the policies that led to this abuse — and has yet to hold a single high-ranking official responsible.

After the horrors of World War II, our leaders helped draft universal principles that prohibit torture and protect human rights. I hope you join me in defending that legacy by signing the petition and speaking out against torture.

Please join with thousands of others and sign the petition today:
American Civil Liberties Union: Torture is Un-American

More Than You EVER Wanted to Know

Umm, And I’ll Have The Colonoscopy, Please (Part I) | PoopReport.com
If you’re anything like me, colonoscopy ranks on the squirm scale well above leeches and root canals, somewhere up near death by evisceration.

I’m turning 50 this year (yahoo!) so my doctor’s scheduled all the special tests they do on you for that. It’s the medical profession’s extra-special embarrassing and unpleasant way of saying, “Ha ha! You’re getting OLD!” So, besides the bone density scan (in June) — which really should be pretty interesting — I’m also having (tomorrow! did I already say “yahoo!”?) a colonoscopy.

The real fun begins tonight when I take all the big-league laxatives. This morning I’m just… hungry. So, so, hungry. I get no food all day today or tomorrow morning. (The test isn’t until 1:30. Damn!)

Anyway… my whole reason for bringing this up (because, God knows, I don’t plan on giving you all the details of my OWN experience — I do have some sense of personal space) …anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. My whole reason for bringing this up was to direct you to the Poop Report’s article on colonoscopy — which is very VERY funny.

Actually I found this article only because I was doing a Google search on “colonoscopy preparation beer”. Beer’s a clear liquid, right? I’m planning on making beer my drink du jour — it will help me forget how goddamned hungry I am. I was just looking for information online confirming that drinking beer before a colonoscopy won’t cause all sorts of hideous problems.

But never mind all that. Read this article. Funny stuff.

Lake Cam

Cool picture of Lake Superior this morning on the Allete Lake Cam in Duluth, Minnesota. (Allete owns Minnesota Power.) See the two ships? They’re probably waiting to come into Duluth Harbor to load or unload.

Dissertation-Writing in Zork

Acephalous: DISADVENTURE!

West of Apartment Complex

You are standing in an open field west of a white apartment complex, with a boarded front door.  There is a small mailbox here.

I’m posting this link especially for the benefit of Mark, who is not only a long-time fan of Zork (like me!) but who also spends much of his “free time” working on various scholarly papers that will, eventually, become part of his PhD dissertation.

Read the entire parody. If you know anything about Zork at all you will laugh.

Oh… and if you want to learn about Zork, just click on the screen shot below:

The Purity Ball

Oh, man…. this is just too fucking weird. Too TOO fucking weird.

Focus on the Family Magazine: May I Have This Dance?
The Pledge
I, (daughter’s name)’s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.

Here’s what this is all about — get ready to retch — these whacked out fundamentalist Christian dads get their little girls all prettied up in a fancy dress and take them to a special father/daughter dance sort of thing…

Okay so far, right? Nothing particularly odd with that. (Father/daughter dances are a wee bit strange just in general — you know, in a Freudian kind of way? — but most of them are probably pretty harmless.) Not here, though. Read on, it gets worse. Much, much worse.

The highlight of the Ball is when the fathers sign the “Covenant of Purity and Protection, witnessed by their daughters”.

Eeeeeeew! How totally creepy is it for little girls having a special night out with daddy to have that all tied with this bizarre paternal sexual control thing?? Yikes. Pretty fucking weird. Didn’t I say it?

Save The News Tribune

Everyone who knows me knows that I love Duluth, Minnesota. In many ways, Duluth feels more like “home” to me than my actual hometown of Orono, Minnesota. Maybe it’s because Duluth has managed (despite some unbelievably lame-brained mistakes on the part of the city’s mayor and council) to retain quite a bit of its character.

Among the many things that make Duluth wonderful is its newspaper. The Duluth News Tribune has been reporting the “news of the Northland” for an amazing 133 years. Now, though, the News Tribune is in danger of being either significantly diminished or, perhaps, even shut down altogether.

The News Tribune’s owner, Knight Ridder, was sold to the McClatchy Co. McClatchy immediately announced that it’s selling 12 of the 32 papers it was buying — including the News Tribune. (…) The pending sale by McClatchy threatens the ability of the publications to cover our communities. An owner more interested in increasing profits than in fulfilling the papers’ responsibilities to the area likely would impose severe cutbacks in news coverage.

If you know and love Duluth like I do — or even if you’re just a person who cares about journalistic integrity and small-city newspapers being allowed to really serve their communities — I encourage you to join me in signing the “Support Statement” on the Save The News Tribune web site.

Check It Out

The Checkout – A Consumer Report By Caroline Mayer
“I was wondering what others thought about Giant Food’s self-checkout aisles. My problem with them is that if one utilizes the self-checkout, all one is doing is adding to Giant’s profit margin. If Giant was serious and transparent in their ‘push’ to have consumers utilize the self-checkouts, then Giant would include a 2-5% discount as an incentive.”

Well…yeah…

But I love self-checkout!

I really like not having to talk to anyone during my shopping trip. I can listen to cool music on my iPod up and down the aisles and not have to stop listening in order to make small talk with a stranger. I’m an introvert, okay?? I don’t like talking to strangers.

And self-checkout is fun. It’s all so… digital!

I’m enthusiastically awaiting the day when EVERTHING is “self-checkout”. Wouldn’t it be cool to go into a restaurant where you didn’t have to talk to anyone!! You go in and sit down, there’s a machine at the table where you select your menu choices and slide your credit/debit card. When your food is ready it comes to you on a conveyor belt (like the ones they have at sushi restaurants) that’s programmed to stop in front of your table. You can order more food or drinks if you want or, if you’re done and ready to leave, you just push a “checkout” button on the machine and it totals up your bill and prints out a receipt for you. You don’t have to deal with a single human being during the whole experience!

I’d love that!