Words Like Locusts Flew From Her Fingers

Just Slow Down, You Nit-Wits!

Va. Enacted Bad-Driver Fees Despite Red Flags – washingtonpost.com
Officials in Michigan and New Jersey say Virginians should brace for problems, including clogged courts and the prospect of thousands of residents having to choose between keeping their licenses and paying their bills.

Hey! Here’s a revolutionary third alternative! How about people just refrain from driving recklessly to begin with???

I swear. I must be some kind of friggin’ genius because this simple solution apparently hasn’t occurred to literally thousands of Virginians.

Galaxy Zoo

Home | Galaxy Zoo
Why do we need you?
The simple answer is that the human brain is much better at recognizing patterns than a computer can ever be. Any computer program we write to sort our galaxies into categories would do a reasonable job, but it would also inevitably throw out the unusual, the weird and the wonderful. To rescue these interesting systems which have a story to tell, we need you.

Here’s a useful way to while away the hours: help classify galaxies! Orb? Spiral? Merging? You make the call! Here are a few I’ve recently classified:

You’re all familiar with the Hubble telescope’s Deep Field images…. right? Right?? Okay. Here’s one image from the Hubble site. Click on the picture to go there, by the way. Cooler things you will never see.

Let me tell you what you’re looking at here, if you didn’t already know. This is a picture take by the Hubble Space Telescope. It’s a VERY high resolution picture — taken of what, to the naked eye, appears as an “empty” bit of space. What you’re seeing here, friends, are galaxies. And this is looking at just one tiny fraction of the space surrounding our own humble galaxy, the Milky Way!

Wow.

Kinda makes you feel like you’re part of something magnificent, doesn’t it?

Catholics v Protestants

Vatican Reaffirms Catholic Primary – washingtonpost.com
The Vatican said Tuesday that Christian denominations outside the Roman Catholic Church were not full churches of Jesus Christ. Some Protestant leaders responded that this would hurt interdenominational dialogue.

Well, some protestant leaders just need to get over it. The Catholic Church isn’t saying anything new with this. Of course, they think they’ve got everything right and other Christian denominations have got it wrong. The plain truth is that every denomination thinks they’re the ones who have it all figured out. If the Protestants didn’t think they had it right, they’d all still be Roman Catholics, for heaven’s sake!

So, the Catholics aren’t unusual in believing they’re the ones who have this whole God thing figured out right. Everyone believes that about themselves. The Catholics just have the confidence — some might say the arrogance — to say it right out loud. Frankly, I find it amusing and it’s one of the many things I like about the Catholic Church.

The Sublime Philosophical Crap Test

OkCupid! The Sublime Philosophical Crap Test
Everyone, whether they will admit it or not, has a philosophy. We all live our lives according to basic assumptions and beliefs. Most of us waddle through our lives like uncaring ducks, never taking a moment to examine the possibility of knowledge, the nature of reality, the way our lives ought to be lived, and so on. No, most people just waddle around, quack, and swim around a bit, and then they fly south in the twilight of their lives, never opening their eyes wide enough to look at the true splendors of the world. But even those deepest within the pits of ignorance still possess a philosophy, all dusty and smelling of fungus with disuse.

Yet another fine test from Saint Gasoline.

My results:

You are an N-A-O: a metaphysical Non-Reductionist, an epistemological Absolutist, and a moral Objectivist. If you are simply dying inside to figure out what all this mumbo-jumbo means, then simply continue reading.

Metaphysics: Non-Reductionism (Idealism or Realism) In metaphysics, my test measures your tendency towards Reductionism or Non-Reductionism. As a Non-Reductionist, you recognize that reality is not necessarily simple or unified, and you thus tend to produce a robust ontology instead of carelessly shaving away hypothetical entities that reflect our philosophical experiences. My test recognizes two types of Non-Reductionists: Idealists and Realists. [I'm a Realist.]

Epistemology: Absolutism (Rationalism or Pragmatism) My test measures one’s tendency towards Absolutism or Skepticism in regards to epistemology. As an Absolutist, you believe that objective knowledge is possible given the right approach, and you deny the claims of skeptical philosophers who insist that we can never have knowledge of ultimate reality. The two types of Absolutists recognized by my test are Rationalists and Pragmatists. [I'm a Pragmatist.]

Ethics: Objectivism (Deontology or Logical Positivism) In Ethics, my test measures your tendency towards moral Objectivism or moral Relativism. As a moral Objectivist, you are opposed to Subjectivist moral theories and believe that morality applies to people universally and actually describes objects and situations out in the world as opposed to just subjects themselves. The two types of moral Objectivists my test recognizes are Kantian Deontologists and Utilitarians. [I'm a Kantian Deontologist.]

Oh man… My brain hurts! We’ll just be moving on to something a little less mentally taxing now…

The Real Me, Revealed At Last

OkCupid! The Personality Defect Test
You are the Haughty Intellectual. You are a very rational person, emphasizing logic over emotion, and you are also rather arrogant and self-aggrandizing. You probably think of yourself as an intellectual, and you would like everyone to know it. Not only that, but you also tend to look down on others, thinking yourself better than them. You could possibly have an unhealthy obsession with yourself as well, thus causing everyone to hate you for being such an elitist twat. On top of all that, you are also introverted and gentle. This means that you are just a quiet thinker who wants fame and recognition, in all likelihood. Like so many countless pseudo-intellectuals swarming around vacuous internet forums to discuss worthless political issues, your kind is a scourge upon humanity, blathering and blathering on and on about all kinds of boring crap. If your personality could be sculpted, the resulting piece would be Rodin’s “The Thinker”–although I am absolutely positive that you are not nearly as muscular or naked as that statue. Rather lacking in emotion, introspective, gentle, and arrogant, you are most certainly a Haughty Intellectual! And, most likely, you will never achieve the recognition or fame you so desire! But no worries!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Schoolyard Bully. (Bullies like to beat up nerds, after all.)

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Braggart, the Hand-Raiser, and the Robot.

Like you didn’t already know. Ha!

My Generation

Well… not yet. But eventually.

I presume you’ve watched the video already. Pretty cool, eh?

I think about the lives of older folks fairly often. Besides having cared for my mother as she aged and grew ill, I also pretty regularly play with different musical groups at retirement and “assisted living” homes.

It occasionally comes up that the musical ensemble is debating whether to play a certain kind of music for a retirement home gig. Maybe the piece is a bit “avant-garde” or is a very serious classical piece. Sometimes someone will comment something to the effect of, “Sure, we like it, but will a bunch of old folks like it?” When this happens, I always say — hey, just because people’s bodies don’t work very well any more doesn’t mean their brains don’t work.

People are people — regardless of their ages. And people who like jazz or classical music or the blues or whatever will continue to like that kind of music no matter how old they get. It’s crazy to assume that all old folks want to listen to is elevator music from the 1940s and 1950s.

I sometimes wonder what kinds of music groups will be coming in to play for me when I’m 90 years old and living in an assisted living home. Will it be crappy renditions of “Satisfaction”?

——-
Tip o’ the hat to Respectful Insolence for the link to the video.

Doctors To Seek Bush’s Brain

Bush will have colonoscopy – Politics – MSNBC.com
President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy Saturday…

As my friend Linn says, maybe they’ll find his head.

…and temporarily hand presidential powers over to Vice President Dick Cheney, the White House said.

This is the really scary part. I wonder if Cheney will declare war on Iran while Bush is getting scoped?

That Wacky William Kristol

Why Bush Is A Loser – washingtonpost.com
Who knew Bill Kristol had such a flair for satire?

How else to read his piece for Outlook on Sunday, in which he declared, “George W. Bush’s presidency will probably be a successful one”? Surely Kristol, the No. 1 cheerleader for the Iraq war, was mocking himself (and his neoconservative pals) for having been so mistaken about so much. But just in case his article was meant to be a serious stab at commentary, let’s review Kristol’s record as a prognosticator.

When I read William Kristol’s editorial in the Washington Post on Sunday, I actually did begin to blog about it. My first line, after quoting Kristol going on about how Bush is going to come out looking like a good president, was to ask, “Is Kristol drunk?? I have to ask because that’s one of very few reasons I can come up with for why someone might say something so foolish.”

I was called away before I could finish my post and by the time I returned hundred, nay thousands, of people had already asked the same or similar questions about Kristol’s state of mind. (Or lack thereof.)

So… I abandoned my blog post. Just as well.

David Corn does a much better job than I ever could of dissecting out Kristol’s pathology. But, then, he gets paid for it.

Bush Attempts to Salvage Presidency As Even He Begins to Recognize How Badly Things Are Going In Iraq

Bush Renews Mideast Efforts – washingtonpost.com
President Bush launched a diplomatic effort yesterday to revive the long-moribund Middle East peace process, announcing aid to the Palestinian government and calling for an international conference this fall aimed at paving the way for the creation of a Palestinian state side by side with Israel.

It sounds good on the surface, but he’s also announced that only those who “recognize Israel’s right to exist” will be invited. Apparently that means Hamas — the party that controls the Palestinian Parliament — won’t be included. Neither, it seems, will the government of Iran.

Excluding two of the area’s major players is simply a repeat of one of the big mistakes Bush made in Iraq. You don’t build consensus by refusing to talk to the people who disagree with you.

Nothing will come of this “peace conference”. It’s a transparent attempt by Bush to repair his ruined image in the Middle East and it’s not going to work.

The Kitten Formerly Known As Steve…

… shall henceforth be known as Stella.

Estimated age: 3 months. No apparent ear mites or fleas. Outcome pending on blood tests for the really bad shit, but kitten appears to be healthy.