Words Like Locusts Flew From Her Fingers

“Colon Prep”

Rebecca’s nemesis was 4 liters of a magical elixir known as “GoLytley” -clearly based on the Audrey Hepburn character in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, no doubt because of that movie’s famous enema scene, which warned on the label of “possible bloating, cramping, abdominal spasms, anal tenderness (technical medical term: ouchy butthole), loss of appetite, loss of sexual function, loss of car keys, world class malodorousness, spontaneous combustion, and/or the inability to do even simple math”

After a few glasses of this stuff, as Michael Buffer, the popular professional boxing and wrestling ring announcer, comes calling to announce the “main event.”

“Let’s get ready to … rum … ble!”

I will skip the messy details of the Golytely aftermath. Suffice to say, it debunked the myth of the Conservation of Mass, as it was four liters going in and seven coming out.