“The Main Event” Status Report 3
Becky is back in the room….FINALLY!!!
She had a BAD time in recovery… it took a long time before they could get her pain under control. They gave her LOTS of different drugs. She’s REALLY “out there”, though still very uncomfortable to say the least. ( though I think she looks pretty good, all things considered).
Which led me to some thinking about the “Pain Scale” that they ask her to use to report pain level- you known, the one that goes from “0- Smiley Face/ No Pain” to “10- Crying Face/Hurts Worse”. That seemed so absolutely and completely inadequate. A little research on the Web and TA-DA, A REAL World Users Guide to Reporting Pain.
WHERE
0: Hi. I am not experiencing any pain at all. I don’t know why I’m even here.
1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.
2: I probably just need a Band Aid.
3: This is distressing. I don’t want this to be happening to me at all.
4: My pain is not fucking around.
5: Why is this happening to me??
6: Ow. Okay, my pain is super legit now.
7: I see Jesus coming for me and I’m scared.
8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain. I might actually be dying. Please help.
9: I am almost definitely dying.
10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.
11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.
Too Serious For Numbers: You probably have ebola. It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.
The scale and artwork credit is due
Posted by Mark Hartong on July 19, 2011 under Health
Tell her I love her. She is the strongest woman I have ever known and she will prevail!!!! Possibly think of the smelt under the floorboards…. woo hoo..
Ah, the smelt. If those are the same smelt I remember (the nasty landlady in Duluth…the smelt in the closet…etc…), then HELL YEAH — THINK OF THE SMELT!! But hey, Mark — give her a hug for me, would you? I really have been thinking of her all day…
Hugs from me too Mark (for Rebecca and a spare for you too). Really sorry they couldn’t get the HIPEC done, but so glad she is out of surgery.
Dana here…FL chapter of the Northern Virginia Cancer and Drinking Club…NVCDCFC, hmmm, erh, FLC for short, laughing at the scale and LOVING the expanded version, especially level 10, a very accurate description for the end cycle of dilaudid. You omitted the “I’ll decapitate you with my bare hands if you don’t stop burning precious daylight with that f’ing inane question” level.