• Returning Home!

  Filed under Health
  Jul 12

  Rebecca is coming home tomorrow from NIH and doesn’t go back until next Friday to be seen by the surgeons again. The dog and cats can’t wait to see her.

  Today was a busy day spent learning about the “wound vac” and the “ostomy pouching system”. The “wound vac” is a pretty nifty piece of gadgetry. It hooks up to one of the holes in her abdomen and sucks goo out. It plugs ever so neatly into the hole, and has a tube connecting it to a AC/DC powered mini vacuum system. In addition to the negative pressure which sucks goo out, the negative pressure is supposed to help encourage wound healing by helping to pull things together.

  The “ostomy pouching system” goes over the other hole. It’s not as cool as the “wound vac”. It would be VERY neat if they could use a “wound vac” on this hole too, but they can’t since the hole connects directly to her intestines. Unlike the “wound vac”, which goes right into the hole, one has to tape and paste a drain into place that coves the hole, and dumps into a pouch. It is very much like putting together plastic PVC piping for a plumbing system. You even apply “caulking” to help make sure it doesn’t leak!

  Painwise she’s a bit uncomfortable, but the pain meds seem to be working- long release morphine in the am and pm, with fast acting morphine for breakthrough. If you refer back to last years post on July 19, 2011 (its hard to believe that a year has gone by since the last surgery) shes between a “3″ and a “4″ on the 0 to 10 scale. In real world terms this is somewhere between “3: This is distressing. I don’t want this to be happening to me at all” and “4: My pain is not fucking around.” She’s working on giving up on the “Minnesota Stoicism”, and actually using the prescribed drugs BEFORE things start to go “ouwieee”, but she isn’t quite there yet and is always playing catch-up.

  She’s walking very well though, we lapped the ward 5 times today. Not ready for the Marine Corp Marathon yet, but something to work on. .

  Food wise she’s on a full diet, but low residue, since things aren’t taking the long route, but taking the shortcut. We don’t want to get residue stuck in the hole. She has a new “mantra” when eating. Think of Monty Python and “Spam”, but substitute “Protein” for “Spam”.

  The SPAM Skit
  ************************************
  Interior: cheap café. All the customers are Vikings. Mr and Mrs Bun enter—downwards (on wires).

  Mr. Bun:
  Morning.
  Waitress:
  Morning.
  Mr. Bun:
  What have you got, then?
  Waitress:
  Well there’s egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or lobster thermidor aux crevettes, with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle paté, brandy and a fried egg on top and spam.
  Mrs. Bun:
  Have you got anything without spam in it?
  Waitress:
  Well, there’s spam, egg, sausage and spam. That’s not got MUCH spam in it.
  Mrs. Bun:
  I don’t want ANY spam.
  Mr. Bun:
  Why can’t she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
  Mrs. Bun:
  That’s got spam in it!
  Mr. Bun:
  Not as much as spam, egg, sausage and spam.
  Mrs. Bun:
  Look, could I have egg, bacon, spam and sausage, without the spam.
  Waitress:
  Uuuuuuggggh!
  Mrs Bun:
  What d’you mean, uugggh! I don’t like spam.
  Vikings:
  (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam … spam, spam, spam, spam … lovely spam, wonderful spam …

  (Brief shot of a Viking ship)

  Waitress:
  Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can’t have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
  Mrs. Bun:
  Why not?
  Waitress:
  No, it wouldn’t be egg, bacon, spam and sausage, would it?
  Mrs. Bun:
  I don’t like spam!
  Mr. Bun:
  Don’t make a fuss, dear. I’ll have your spam. I love it. I’m having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam …
  Vikings:
  (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam …
  Mr. Bun:
  … baked beans, spam, spam and spam.
  Waitress:
  Baked beans are off.
  Mr. Bun:
  Well can I have spam instead?
  Waitress:
  You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam?
  Vikings:
  (still singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam … (etc.)
  Mr. Bun:
  Yes.
  Waitress:
  Arrggh!
  Vikings:
  … lovely spam, wonderful spam.
  Waitress:
  Shut up! Shut up!

  (The Vikings shut up momentarily. Enter the Hungarian.)

  Hungarian:
  Great boobies honeybun, my lower intestine is full of spam, egg, spam, bacon, spam, tomato, spam …
  Vikings:
  (Singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam …

  (A policeman rushes in and bundles the Hungarian out.)

  Hungarian:
  (As he leaves) My nipples explode …

  (Cut to an historian) Caption, super. “A HISTORIAN”

  Historian:
  Another great Viking victory was at the Green Midget café at Bromley. Once again the Viking strategy was the same. They sailed from these fiords here, (indicating map with arrows on it) assembled at Trondheim and waited for the strong north-easterly winds to blow their oaken galleys to England whence they sailed on May 23rd. Once in Bromley they assembled at the Green Midget café and spam selecting a spam particular spam item from the spam menu would spam, spam, spam, spam, spam …
  Vikings:
  (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, wonderful spam. Lovely spam, wonderful spam …
  ***********************************************

  Yes, Spam theoretically contains protein,- a canned precooked meat product made by the Hormel Foods Corporation,consisting of chopped pork shoulder meat, with ham meat added, salt, water, modified potato starch as a binder, and sodium nitrite as a preservative. Spam’s gelatinous glaze, or aspic, forms from the cooling of meat stock. I’m not so sure though….

  I want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and prayers. They were very much appreciated. It’s time for a minor “cancer holiday” while she heals from this last round before we figure out what the next step is in this rather unexpected journey.

  I am sure that Rebecca would like to see everyone, but it would be good to call first and make sure she’s up to it, and that no one is doing strange things to her, before stopping by. If a “strange” voice answers the phone, not to worry. Valerie, Rebecca’s older sister, is coming to help out for a while.

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  5 Comments

5 Responses to “Returning Home!”

1. 

   Valerie said on July 12th, 2012 at 10:14 pm

   As you no doubt know, Rebecca and I grew up eating Spam, thank you very much. And our cousin Judy’s father *worked* at the company where they make Spam!

2. 

   Sheila said on July 13th, 2012 at 11:22 am

   No wonder Becky went vegetarian; how about you Val? So glad to hear that Becky is able to go home and I love the ‘cancer holiday’. You’re taking really good care of Becky Mark. Take good care of your self too! Love Sheila & Butch

3. 

   Dianne Brickley said on July 13th, 2012 at 11:37 am

   So happy to hear that Becky is going home! My sister-in-law has colon cancer and has had the wound vac for several months now and it does work. The chemo may slow down the healing process of the wound vac but it will come around so don’t become impatient and think it is not working. Thinking of you from MN! Sending you healing thoughts and warm wishes. Dianne

4. 

   Valerie said on July 13th, 2012 at 11:44 am

   I am a meat-eater through and through, Sheila. But I can cook a decent vegetarian meal, and I have been doing a fair amount of research into low-residue, high-protein vegetarian diets. It will be a bit of a challenge, but I can promise that I will feed her (and Mark!) well!

5. 

   Barb L said on July 14th, 2012 at 10:03 am

   Delighted to hear that Becky is able to finally come home!

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